GUIDED, Chapter 3: Everyone Here Lets Me Down

One of the first things I remember my Spirit Guide Angels telling me came from their prophecy …

… “Life will get better for you as you get older … then came the warning, … if you can make it through childhood.”

I received this prophecy years before starting school and just like the merry-go-round dream, it was something I could not stop or change, as they continued to repeat this prophetic destiny and warning to me, word for word, throughout my childhood.

I was aware that no one in this world took me seriously. Unfortunately, this also made me a perfect target for my mom. I was three years old and could not stop wetting the bed. My mom used that to blame me for ruining her life. So she implemented the daily backyard glider punishment where I was forced to stay all day without food, water, or bathroom privileges – exposed to the full intensity of the sun. After weeks of crying and panicking my glider prison became a peaceful place. Instead of this being punishment like my mother intended, I mentally escaped this world. In doing that I was connected, enabling me to detect the subtle messages coming through from my Spirit Guides. This brought me even closer to my protectors who were now my only lifeline in this world.

After the glider ordeal, I went into the backyard and played in the sandbox every day to get away from my mother. The time I spent in the sandbox became my self-help therapy refuge, which allowed me to secretly explore everything my Spirit Guides were showing me. This is where I openly communicated with them. I was learning to fluidly live in 2 worlds.

I was living in two worlds without anyone noticing.

While my secret world was uplifting – a place where I was always learning amazing new things, in this world I was constantly critiquing what to say and strategic about how I acted. I had become acutely aware and equally covert even before starting school.

I had to accept the consequences of this greater awareness that made being here in this world harder than it was for anyone else. It was cut and dried for them, however, in my case, because of this higher way of learning I saw everything for what it was – the truth. Strangely enough, when compared to the reality everyone else was living, mine was bizarre. Like the Merry-Go-Round dream showed me from the beginning of my life, what I would experience many times would be the exact opposite of others.

Two things were absolutely clear, I couldn’t tell anyone what I knew and how I knew it. I also knew I couldn’t run away from any of this. There was nowhere to go, but I always imagine getting out. In this awareness, I realized that the family I was born into was temporary and not my real family at all. My real family was the ones who loved me unconditionally and always helped me figure things out – my Spirit Guides and Angels.

I was living a secret life that my Spirit Guides played a dominant role in.

They guided me through life’s highs and lows. On one hand, this was an advantage because it allowed me, through a lucid awareness, to access those beyond this world who provided me with a higher interdimensional way of learning and thinking things through. On the other hand, in this world, it was getting harder to dodge my mother’s assaults. It was wearing me down. ~ Linda Deir