I talk about, Questioning Everything – the journey begins. You have questions that no one seems to care about or have answers for. This caused you to retreat, except this time, instead of withdrawing you study everything you can get your hands on to get your answers. This is when you find us again. So let’s get started…
Once you started searching and questioning everything you were on track to reconnect with us. That was the missing connection you were reaching for – to put yourself back together again. No longer led by distractions, it was easy to find what inspired you. You were no longer resisting it. You had put your fear and doubt on hold. Now, you were following the urge that put you in the right place at the right time, to the perfect book, person, place, or any form of expression that encouraged your real self to come out of hiding.
Free to follow your bliss on your journey of self-discovery made the hours pass like minutes.
This experience was familiar to you, like déjà-vu. To identify what that was, go back to your pre-school days, in the earlier pages of part two of this journal. It happened before you lost your grip on the world you came from.
Flashback – you remembered losing yourself long ago, causing you to withdraw. Feeling pressured to choose between worlds, you assumed you had to choose when all you had to do was not let this world scare you. You overreacted to what was required of you here in this world. You took it all personally and even defended it with all your efforts to fit in by doing things the way everyone else did. You had also become rebellious and angry. Simply put, you had collected a lot of needless baggage. All this confusion came from the decisions you made as a reactionary ill-equipped child. You have some unlearning to do.
The pain and confusion you experienced from your childhood are now clearing up.
You are just beginning to understand what really happened in your worlds and by reconnecting them you are healing yourself. For the first time, since you lost yourself, your life is beginning to make sense. However, being in 2 worlds is not something you can talk about because it could turn into a competition and something you feel forced to defend. It’s just too much work to explain your personal journey of “self-discovery” to anyone else. So, rather than taking up the time to do any of that you just keep following that inner urge that moves you along with perfect timing.
You are aware that both worlds do indeed exist, but you also realize that at any point along the way you could become derailed, just like before. The last time that happened you were shocked out of your blissful moment by someone. It happened when they caught you off-guard in their attempt to wake you up to this world. It was a series of disruptions that pulled you out of the moment. Having this comparison, you realized that holding onto any moment will instantly present a feeling of insecurity and anxiety. Why would you want to hold onto it only to miss the next moment and the next one? You realized you couldn’t hold onto any moment. That was the dilemma of living in just the physical world.
So, now that you are on this mission to fluidly live in two worlds, how do you keep from getting derailed along the way? You will become derailed from time to time, however, the difference now is that you understand what happened before. You will refer back to what you wrote in these pages of Part Two of this journal anytime confusion surfaces. You are no longer making unconscious decisions from a single perspective because you are connected. ~Linda Deir
My Guided Journey, the companion journal to Guided, Part Two, Chapter 15.