- The takeaway from this episode is … you will know where you are on your love relationship journey.
- Here’s what this will do for you … you will be able to put your current love relationship into perspective.
- Here’s what I want you to do with it … is your love relationship meant to be? You will know as soon as you start tracking your progress. This will show you what needs attention as the relationship progresses.
We need each of these loves to become whole.
LOVE … your first love – the one you thought would last forever …
The first love is an idealistic love, the unrealistic kind you dreamed about. We enter into it with the belief that this will be our only love even though it doesn’t feel quite right. At this early stage in life, we believe that this is what love should be. In this type of love how others view us is more important than how we actually feel.
It’s a love that looks right.
MONEY … the partnership love – it must work …
The second love is a hard one. It’s the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we need to be loved. It’s conditional love. It’s about what the other person can do for you. This kind of love hurts, either through deceit or manipulation. This is the love where we take everything to the limit. Many times, it’s unhealthy imbalances with money that are at the core of all this.
There may be emotional, mental, or physical abuse along with high levels of drama. This is what keeps us addicted to this storyline, it’s the emotional rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows and like a junkie trying to get a fix, we stick it out through the lows expecting that the highs will make it worthwhile.
At the conclusion of this love, you will ask yourself, “Am I sleeping with the enemy?” This is the kind of love when trying to make it work overrides the obvious truth, it either works or it doesn’t.
This is the love you wished was right.
COMPANIONSHIP … the kindest love – it just works …
The third love is the love we didn’t see coming. This love found us. The one that we could have missed had we not been open to what was actually good for us. It may even initially seem to be wrong. It destroys any lingering ideals of the first love. This love comes so easy it doesn’t seem possible. It’s the kind where the connection can’t be explained because you didn’t pick it.
This is the love that just fits. There is no pressure to be anyone other than who you are. You accept each other and go from there. It feels foreign because it isn’t like anything you have experienced before. This is the love that knows you better than you know yourself. Until this love, you never knew how easy it could be or what love really was. Like the stray that shows up at your door, you didn’t expect it and before you knew it you were in love. You found your best friend.
It’s the love that feels right!
The third love is …
• The one we didn’t see coming.
• The one that lasts.
• The one that shows us why the others didn’t last.
CALL TO ACTION:
• We can all choose to stay with our first love, the one that looks good and will make everyone else happy.
• We can choose to stay with our second love believing that if we don’t have to fight for it, then it’s not worth having.
• Or choose the third love, the love that feels like home.
HOW IT WORKS: You may ask … can you evolve through these 3-Primary Loves of a Lifetime with the same person? Yes, you can. That is a journey of accepting the constant changes you both go through. In fact, it’s more than accepting the other person’s changes, it’s changing with them. This is a relationship filled with surprise and adventure, not winning or losing. Those who make it through the first two loves and learn the right lessons will experience real love the third time around … with someone who fills your soul and you genuinely like. ~ Linda Deir