No longer a prisoner of my childhood …
The first thing I experienced is that I could breathe, really breathe! Once I started breathing, I couldn’t stop. It was similar to someone who has panic attacks. Until this unexpectedly happened, I didn’t even realize I had been holding my breath. I had been holding my breath my entire life.
The next shocking thing that happened was that I no longer wet the bed.
That’s right, you read that right, I was still wetting the bed at 16 years old. I didn’t do anything differently; it stopped the very first night I was out of that toxic childhood environment and it never happened again. Decades later, I learned that bedwetting represents fear of the dominant parent. That described my mother – no wonder I couldn’t stop it while under her thumb.
Although I lived through an abusive childhood until I got out I didn’t see how horrific it really was.
This realization came flooding through so fast that I felt my entire body changing physically. It was unexpected, and the first time I ever experienced anything like that. This total release was solid evidence of just how terrible that childhood was. I was shocked by the realization of just how destructive my mother really was, along with my family who supported her.
I couldn’t believe I got out alive.
It felt like I had just got out of prison, even though I had never been in an actual prison. I could literally feel my insides physically changing as I started to feel openly good for the first time in my life. I didn’t have to hide my real self anymore or feel like I had to walk on eggshells while constantly having to out-think my captor. For the first time in my life, I could say what I thought and felt. Suddenly realizing all of this, I was bewildered by the fact that no one ever intervened – stopping her from constantly abusing me? It was all of these realizations that made me pull away from the entire family at the age of 16.
I was finally in the “Life will get better for you as you get older…” part of my life. This was the part my Spirit Guides prophesized would happen “if I could make it through childhood.” Until I got out with my life, I only vaguely imagined what it would be like once my childhood was finally behind me.
I never actually realized how good it would feel once I was out of that repressive situation. It was so much better than I ever dared to let myself ever imagine while I was still in it. Gratitude was the primary feeling that carried me forward now. It was this enormous amount of gratitude I had that made every single day better than the day before. I was assured by my Spirit Guides that nothing in my life would ever be that bad again and they have been right. I was grateful, right down to the depth of my soul with an even deeper connection to my real family, my Spirit Guides and Angels.
Without them I wouldn’t have made it, without them I wouldn’t have wanted to. ~ Linda Deir
The entire first chapter of Guided:
Chapter #1 of Guided, First Contact – The Merry-Go-Round Dream
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Thank you for sharing Linda. You are amazing.
Thank you. We remember meeting you at the cat show recently. Also, we are glad you are enjoying Linda’s Weekly Guided Insights.
Thanks for these trailers and your understanding of the process you went through in the two worlds you lived through in childhood Linda.
We all experienced this – it’s just that most forgot. It’s in the remembering that these two worlds reconnect and you feel whole again. Living in 2 worlds is not new, it’s something you used to do naturally when you were young.
Thank you for sharing this trailer Linda. I enjoyed seeing pictures of what you looked back on when you went through that hell you described in GUIDED. I also disconnected from my mother’s family. They all knew what she was doing to me, maybe not in detail, but they could tell she was abusive and a bully, and yet they didn’t do anything to stop it. I am planning to immerse myself in your books so that I can save the little girl that still lives in me. No one bothered to help her back then, but I can do it now! Thank you, Linda!
Like I said in GUIDED, “Thanks to my Spirit Guide Angels, I have lived to tell my story.
Without all of you, I wouldn’t have made it – I wouldn’t have wanted to.”
I had help, and now I am reminding those who are ready that they have help too. I help you reconnect with it.
From the Foreword of GUIDED: Most of all this book will give you the hope and the help you never knew existed as you learn to detect your own spirit guide angels, interpret their messages, and take action. They will never let you down as you build this rapport with them. In the end, they may be the only ones who don’t let you down.
Are you ready to get to know them…?
Just Sayin’ Kaye A. Peters I totally understand. When I brought my two sons (1 1/2 and 2 1/2) back to Minnesota, after the divorce, I was so very grateful I had accomplished what I had been working with for 3 years – get away – I had no care or even thought that I was alone with two kids and $60 in my pocketbook, on the plane returning where I did have family and friends, and ultimately some legs up! BUT, in my case, Gratitude and Relief and a full sense of “I made it, Atta Girl, and Thank you God” was primary…I think I lived in the NOW even then and didn’t quite know it. I put one step in front of the other and kept on keeping on! Thank you for your words, Linda.
First comes the courage to take that first step. Then comes the gratitude for being released from the burden – free to be yourself for the first time in a long time … you can breathe! Keep breathing.