Becoming a Good Listener Linda Deir Linda Deir -author, speaker, transition coach, trainer
  • The takeaway from this episode is … the first benefit of becoming a good listener is that you will instantly become calmer.
  • Here’s what this will do for you … once you implement this you will begin to know more about yourself.
  • Here’s what I want you to do with it … track the changes in you, as this is a solid starting place to begin your journey of introspection and reconnection to your Guides.


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Linda Deir took this photograph of her Spirit Guide Angel when they appeared to her at Christmas time 1994About Linda's Weekly Guided Insights





What makes people so hard of hearing?

People will say that they hear just fine, but these people aren’t listening. When we say, “hard of hearing” we don’t mean you can’t hear, the problem is that you are not present, and that’s the reason you are not listening. Listening is a lost skill in this day and age. We live in a world where people don’t want to listen – only want to be heard

Social Media has created a tsunami of talkers with a low tolerance for listening. It’s easy to get on social media and pound the world with what you believe and pay no attention to what others have to say. This is cyber-talking and cyber-listening. It lacks a real connection.

What needs to happen is for people to stop talking long enough to take a breath and feel what it’s like to listen. When you listen, you become more of some things and less of others. Listening is like having your eyes washed out – suddenly you can see more clearly. When you listen you become more observant and less judgmental. Whereas when you were always talking you tend to be judgmental most of the time. 

When you listen, you become more responsive rather than reactionary in your speech and thoughts.

You become clearer and have less confusion in your life. The chaos becomes calm. You find that you even begin to like the time you have freed up to listen. You’re no longer concerned with being so talkative by filling up the dead space all around you. Hopefully, by putting this into practice you become more tolerant and less opinionated.

So, who should you be listening to? …

  1. First, without telling anyone, start by practicing on the people around you. The people you work with, your friends and family. When you go out with your friends let them talk while you remain engaged but quiet most of the time. Do you know what they will say? They will ask, “what’s wrong with you?” “Are you okay?” That’s because they are used to the old talkative you. The one who pushed their beliefs and opinions on others. They are not used to you sitting there silently and listening. What you will realize is that once you start talking again to the group your words will have a new meaning and impact for others and for yourself.
  2. Next, you must start listening more to yourself and not the noise in your head that rolls around while you are thinking about what to say next. It’s not about having to say anything next; it’s about saying something that contributes to the conversation and does not dominate it. So, listen more to yourself and practice having some silent space going on in your mind.
  3. When you create a silent space in your mind you will be able to hear us. It’s us who have let you babble on for years, even most of your life and we never interrupted you. We have sent you guidance that would have slowed you down, but most of the time you just talked over it. Once you start getting quiet for at least 15 minutes a day, yes, we know that’s hard for you to do, but in these 15 minutes we want you to think about a place far away, an island where you are the only person that’s there. This place is totally quiet. You can’t hear the water, you can’t hear the trees blowing in the wind, or the birds chirping. All you hear is silence. This silence may seem oppressive at first but out of the silence, you will begin to hear the whispers. These whispers are coming from us and are the first step in showing you how to listen so you can become a person who listens twice as much as they talk.

You’ll find this to be difficult at first until you learn the value of keeping silent and opening your ears.


  • First, learn to listen to your friends and family.
  • Next, listen to the noise in your head and contain it.
  • Finally, listen for the silence and the whispers coming through – from us.

HOW IT WORKS: Listening allows you to take a break. It’s a time when you don’t have to perform or have all the answers. You might even learn something. Meanwhile, this is ideal training to perfect your listening skills so you can hear the guidance your Spirit Guides and Angels are always sending you. It teaches you to relax into the moment. That’s when you become present. The connection to your Guides is a by-product of becoming a good listener. ~ Linda Deir