- The takeaway from this episode is … you will learn what it takes to defeat the bully in your life.
- Here’s what this will do for you … defeating a bully is easier than you think.
- Here’s what I want you to do with it … you don’t need to become a bully to defeat one, but you must study them. This is how you will identify the weakness in you that you need to overcome.
Everybody knows a bully or two. Nowadays people of all ages get bullied all the time.
It’s a place for the insecure coward to control someone. Under the surface, the bully has a deep desire to feel powerful because they know they are weak. They are angry and feel the need to get even. So, who is it they want to get even with?
When you were in school there weren’t as many types of bullies as there is today. Now bullies are out in full force. In school, you had the bigger kids, the tough kids, but nowadays, besides those types you have cyber-bullies. Gangs of bullies pick a target then relentlessly find ways to humiliate that person. It’s now at the point a person can feel so bullied and helpless that they take their own life. We would say that bullies have declined to a new low.
Many times, a bully is driven by jealousy and envy.
A target has something the bully does not. It could be something like fame among your peers, or a certain social status someone has that drives the bully crazy because they know they could never achieve that. This jealousy and envy permeate all levels of schools, the workplace, and even the highest levels of government.
Other things that set off the bully are people who have a privileged life or some sort of advantage.
Someone who is smarter than they are, or more fortunate than they have been in life. The fact is, it’s just someone who has worked hard to get where they are. However, all the bully acknowledges is that they don’t have it, so if they can’t have it they will demean others who do have it.
The biggest bullies are those who feel they cannot be stopped, like politicians. Others with positions of authority, no matter how small or great, are tempted to be bullies in certain situations. Knowing that someone cannot defend themselves, or take the criticism, humiliation, and abuse that a bully can dish out just makes the bully laugh. They don’t feel any empathy for them. In fact, they believe they deserve it. In the bully’s sick way, they think that by demeaning someone else they will rise up and become more famous in their social circles. They do this by either being feared or revered. The bully is deeply insecure and will take either one to feel powerful.
CALL TO ACTION:
- Bullies are driven by jealousy.
- There are many more kinds of bullying than there have been in the past.
- To expose a bully you have to outsmart them.
HOW IT WORKS: So, how do you deal with a bully? In my flagship book, GUIDED I confronted bullies on every front, beginning with my family, orchestrated by my bully mother. My life has been filled with balancing injustices and confronting bullies. When I would not let my mother’s threats persuade me to join in with her bully tactics, she pronounced me the enemy of the family. I became the target and when my mother required all the family members to comply with her bully tactics against me, they caved into her demands otherwise they would become her next target. I learned that bullies and their bully accomplices are deeply insecure people.
Bullies are haters. They feel cheated in life and that’s why they are mean. They are hungry for power and threaten anyone who gets in their way. They are sneaky. They lie and exaggerate. In fact, they believe their own lies. They will do whatever it takes to get even and will attempt to destroy those who oppose or expose them.
A bully feels like a failure, that’s why they resort to bully tactics in the first place. A bully’s biggest fear is being exposed, I learned this at 20 months old when my mother was exposed for being a bully and feared the thought of being caught for abusing me.
To expose a bully, you must outsmart them! If you don’t know how to outsmart them then you need to learn, otherwise, you will not only become their target you become their toy. To achieve that you must stop taking things personally and confront your fears head-on. This is when the bully will lose interest in you. ~ Linda Deir