Relationship a Discussion or an Argument?
  • The takeaway from this episode is … you will know what type of relationship you currently have. 

  • Here’s what this will do for you … before going all in, you will be able to discern what your relationship is based on – a discussion or an argument.

  • Here’s what I want you to do with it … avoid the negative relationships, and if you’re in one, how to recognize it and get out.


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Linda Deir took this photograph of her Spirit Guide Angel when they appeared to her at Christmas time 1994
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Relationships … what kind do you have?

Why are relationships so difficult that people who want one will want out at some point. It’s hard to say that you know couples who have the perfect intimate relationship.

Look at all your relationship with other people, your job, your ideals or ideologies, your religious affiliations, and your relationship to money. Relationships are segmented into either an argument or a discussion. Picture the last argument you had with someone. Examine the point of contention, was it about money, beliefs, ideals, politics, or just incompatibility?

When you are arguing with someone the relationship has turned into a contest about “who is right!” You both can’t be right, and you can’t be right all the time. When people argue to be right, they dig in their heels to prove the point that they are right. If you look at the same situation but look at it as a discussion rather than an argument it is quite a different relationship.

A “discussion” about something is to determine what is right, not who is right.

Is the situation “a” the right one or is “b” the right one? What is right? It’s not that you must agree with either “a” or “b,” that’s not the time to reveal what you think is right or not. Start by looking at each situation on the surface and what makes it a good choice or not. This way you do not alienate the other person with your bias, crossing the line into personal feelings and egos. That’s when the situation becomes one type or the other.

So, if you find yourself arguing with someone to show them that you are right, the best course of action is to just stop talking and suggest that you both take another look at it later. When you have a discussion, however, it can last as long as it needs to until an agreement is reached. You may even reach several agreements and test each one to arrive at the best one. You can have many outcomes when you have discussions. Different possibilities and probabilities of how it could work out.

How it works out never has anything to do with, who was right, or who was wrong. How it works out is all about what you learned along the way on your journey together, everything else is a by-product of that.


  • When you feel yourself in a heated discussion step back, take a moment to observe if you are caught up in arguing to be right? … again.

  • If you are not trying to be right but the other person is, call off the discussion until later.

  • If a person is adamant about arguing in every encounter – that would be the type of person to avoid.

HOW IT WORKS: So, what “type” of relationship do you have? You won’t honestly know how to answer that until you see it on the pages … on your journal entry pages. The process is the same every time; write down what the issue is, write down how it feels, the next thing that happens requires nothing that you must do, it works naturally – you will have a realization, and the most important part, the action you will take.

The action is the solution, having the means for solving a problem or dealing with a difficult situation. The solution can only be obtained through this self-inquiry process that reveals what is the right course of action. The lesson here is to start with your primary relationship, to have a discussion with yourself first about any problem or situation. Do this by following this journal writing process. Another benefit of doing this journal writing consistently is the intimate relationship you will be developing with your Spirit Guides and Angels. It comes through naturally; it’s called automatic writing. ~ Linda Deir