Is Your Relationship a Fixer-Upper?
  • The takeaway from this episode is … you don’t get to pick who loves you, that will happen when you least expect it.
  • Here’s what this will do for you … looking for the perfect relationship is a waste of time. Become the person you would like to attract, and it will find you.
  • Here’s what I want you to do with it … understand who you are first, then make deliberate improvements that lead to liking yourself more. Let the universe take care of the rest.


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Linda Deir took this photograph of her Spirit Guide Angel when they appeared to her at Christmas time 1994About Linda's Weekly Guided Insights





In many ways, relationships are like real estate.

Most people want to have the American Dream – buy a home even if it needs a little tender loving care. Like a home, people go out shopping for a relationship not knowing what they will end up with.

It’s a mystery … even though they have a list of things they would like to see the home have they usually settle for something less.

They are emotionally invested, and that clouds their judgment in most cases. Even before they purchase the home, the best inspection in the world may not reveal what’s really hiding behind those walls, inside that person.

People marry people that they don’t really know.

They look at their mate as having potential, just like real estate. The home may also be a little rough around the edges, just like some people. However, they let it slide, thinking they can fix it and make it shine.

This fixer-upper strategy does not work, especially when it comes to a relationship. So, why are some people attracted to the houses (relationships) that need the most fixing? They look at it as an investment. An investment of their money when it comes to real estate; an investment of their time when it comes to a relationship. They think that with a little work this person, with potential, will become or maybe just look like the person they had in mind.

Some homes (relationships) take so much work to fix that a couple of things happen along the way. You either run out of money and energy (effort) to fix it, or you just give up on the project after it reveals an endless succession of problems. You compromise by deciding that you’ll just do the bare minimum; like painting a few walls, replacing some carpet, and remodeling the kitchen or bathroom, and then flipping it, (getting out of that relationship) as soon as you can.

You may not even get back what you put into it, or you may get even less. You may get hurt more than just financially in a fixer-upper relationship. So, is there really anything worthwhile in a relationship that offered so little in the first place?

Can you really fix another person even if you see potential in them?

No, they must feel the urge to fix themselves. What these types of relationships become are not fixer-uppers that gain value, but compromised living situations where you put up with all the niggly problems that don’t seem to ever go away.

After experiencing a fixer-upper relationship, next time you will do much more upfront due diligence, and inspection time before you enter another relationship. Certainly, not one that needs fixing.


  • Relationships are like real estate, unless it’s good to start with it will forever drain you.
  • You don’t always get what it appeared to be before you signed the papers.
  • Fixer-uppers aren’t worth all the time, money, heartache, and effort you will need to put into them.

HOW IT WORKS: Fixer-upper relationships happen when you aren’t willing to let the right one come to you. The universe will never send you a fixer-upper. Assess the home you currently live in. Are you always fixing it, making improvements, and over-extended financially? Do you even like your home? These answers are reflective of what your relationship is like. Write your honest assessment in your journal. When you look back at what you wrote you will see the wisdom in this. ~ Linda Deir