Is Your Relationship a Fixer-Upper? | Linda Deir -author, speaker, transition coach, trainer

“In many ways, relationships are like real estate.

Most people want to have the American Dream – buy a home even if it needs a little tender loving care. Like a home, people go out shopping for a relationship not knowing what they will end up with.

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It’s a mystery … even though they have a list of things they would like to see the home have they usually settle for something less.

They are emotionally invested and their emotions cloud their judgment in most cases. Even before they purchase the home, the best inspection in the world may not reveal what’s really hiding behind those walls, inside that person.

People marry people that they don’t really know.

They look at their mate as having potential, just like real estate. The home may also be a little rough around the edges, just like some people. However, they let it slide, thinking they can fix it and make it shine.

It’s not always the case with a relationship. Some people are even attracted to the houses (relationships) that need the most fixing. They look at it as an investment. An investment of their money when it comes to real estate; an investment of their time when it comes to a relationship. They think that with a little work this person with potential will become, or maybe just look like, the person they had in mind.

Some homes (relationships) take so much work to fix them that a couple of things happen along the way. You either run out of money (effort) to fix it, or you just give up on the project after it reveals an endless succession of problems. You compromise by deciding that you’ll just do the bare minimum; like painting a few walls, replacing some carpet, and remodeling the kitchen or bathroom and then flipping it as soon as you can.

You may not even get back what you put into it, or you may get even less. You may get hurt more than just financially in the wrong relationship. So, is there really anything worthwhile in a fixer-upper relationship?

Can you really fix another person even if you see potential in them?

What these types of relationships become are not fixer-uppers that you can sell, but compromised living situations where you put up with all the niggling problems that don’t seem to go away.

After experiencing a fixer-upper relationship, you will demand much more upfront due diligence and inspection before you enter into another relationship. And certainly, not one that needs fixing.


  • Relationships are like real estate.
  • You don’t always get what it appeared to be before you signed the papers.
  • Some fixer-uppers aren’t worth all the time, money, heartache, and effort you will need to put into them.

How It Works: Fixer-upper relationships happen when you aren’t willing to let the right one come to you. The universe will never send you a fixer-upper. Assess the home you currently live in. Are you always fixing it, making improvements, and over-extended financially? Do you even like your home? These answers are reflective of what your relationship is like. Write your honest assessment in your journal. When you look back at what you wrote you will see the wisdom in this. ~ Linda Deir

A mix of Spirituality and Unexpected Psychology … Linda Deir Transition Coach … guidance from “those” who know you best!