- The takeaway from this episode is … stress is meant to get your attention, not destroy you.
- Here’s what this will do for you … feel the stress, write them down in order of intensity.
- Here’s what I want you to do with it … this is what these stresses are telling you about yourself.
There are stress tests for everything.
A bank will go through a stress test to see if they are suitable to continue as a viable financial institution. A new product will go through several stress tests to see if it will hold up once it’s in the marketplace.
Stress is what breaks products and takes down financial institutions. It’s also what destroys people’s lives, however, there’s no scheduled time when a person must take a stress test to determine if they are suitable to continue as they are.
The causes of stress are many.
When you came into this world as a new person you didn’t know the meaning of the word. You came here stress-free. For the first few years of your life, you pretty much didn’t experience stress, everything came easily because whatever you needed was provided for you by someone else. All you had to do was cry or look cute.
- Then something happened; it is called normal parenting. Normal parenting told you that you couldn’t think a certain way, or act a certain way, or what to believe or not. This was your first experience with stress.
- Next, came societal pressures. Pressures in school from your classmates and pressures from your teachers to reach certain levels of study. It also came from playground cliques of people who, as a condition of being allowed into their exclusive group, told you who you could and who you couldn’t like.
- After many years of school pressure and stress, you had to go out into the world and find meaningful work so you could survive. You had to make enough money to pay back student loans while paying your monthly bills. In chasing all of this you endured many wrong jobs just so you could survive. Each unfulfilling job just piled more stress upon you. You wanted to have a meaningful calling, something you had a passion for, but money requirements and the pain of past stresses prevented you from ever seeing yourself as being able to achieve this.
- All along, you were conditioned to buy stuff. The stress to keep up your image and own things became all-consuming. You bought cars, clothes, houses, furniture and created a family to put into those houses. Sounds mechanical, doesn’t it? All of this piled on even more stress requiring you to protect and maintain it all.
- Soon stress takes a toll on your health. Some theories say that all diseases are stress-based. Were you sick when you first came here, as a baby? Most babies are fairly healthy if they receive even the bare minimum of shelter, food, and love. However, now stress is causing you to be depressed or anxious. You start to look back and recycle the old stress that got you where you are now. Doing this, you have revictimized yourself and the result is more stress. You fight the stress and suppress it with addictions like alcohol, drugs, pharmaceutical drugs, food, sexual addictions, or even exercising all the time to take your mind off the daily stress of your life.
Instead of seeking addictions to avoid the stress, you must go back to the time when you were a baby, a new person before these stresses were forced upon you. You must identify all the things in your life that cause your stress and eliminate them one-by-one. Identify if it’s relationships, a job, owning things, or feeling the social pressures that are causing your stress.
After you have identified and resolved the cause of the stresses, it’s as simple as walking away from them and not look back.
Some may believe that even thinking about walking away from things and people that reinforced the stress would be hard, if not impossible to walk away from, but once you begin to remember what that baby felt like before the stress started, the moment you walk away you will feel the stresses decrease immediately.
CALL TO ACTION:
- You didn’t bring any stress with you, so don’t justify it now.
- Stress is something that was forced upon you by parents and society before you could defend yourself.
- In order to eliminate the stress, you must break the patterns within you that keep the stress alive in your life.
HOW IT WORKS: Letting the stresses in life rule your life is not living your life. It’s letting what others want you to do and think continue to control you. It’s living by someone else’s rules and what it takes to fit in. Over time, it makes you feel like a machine. No wonder you feel empty and unfulfilled. By the time you reach your mid-30s, your passions begin to surface, guiding you toward your purpose. This is when you start searching for what is meaningful, what really matters to you. No one can tell you what’s missing, which is why you need to evolve through this on your own. Only you have your answers. So stress is a good thing when you use it to course correct. If you follow your guidance you will move through the stress traps quickly, directing you to the life you intended to live before you got here. ~ Linda Deir