- The takeaway from this episode is … you will think twice before you ever ask someone how they are doing again.
- Here’s what this will do for you … instead of asking someone how they are doing, take a moment to let your intuition pick up on that answer.
- Here’s what I want you to do with it … when you see someone you know, say something like, “It’s good to see you.”
NOTE: The “italic text” within this post is channeled from Linda’s Spirit Guides and Angels
This insight is about becoming much more sensitive to others, so you listen before you say anything.
The customary thing to say to someone you know or just met is to ask, “how are you?” The standard response is, “I’m fine.” It doesn’t sound like people are fine. You can feel it. You can hear it in their voice. In fact, they are anything but fine. This caused an obvious disconnect between you and them – initiated by you. Start listening to your inner guidance system before you ask anything.
By asking them the question, “how are you?”… you have caused them to lie.
You caused them to do something that was uncomfortable for them, causing them to lie about how they really are. Putting them on the spot by asking them how they are, making them lie, is bad for their energy and yours.
People are masking their true state of being. They are pretending or exaggerating in some way. Why do they do this? Are they afraid of who they really are? Or are they ashamed of how they are doing?
When asked, “how are you?” people tend to tell others how they would like to feel. It puts them on the spot. It’s offensive when someone you haven’t seen in a while shows up and says the thing you dread the most, “how are you?” This common, but intrusive question does not build a connection between you and them, so why ask it? This makes it difficult for people to be honest about themselves with you, and why should they when they are encroached upon like this?
There are others, however, who aren’t shy about answering someone when they ask about how they are. They are abrasive and complaining. They feel enormous inner pain and want to off-load it to anyone who comes along.
Asking someone, “how you are?” or “how are you doing?” can be dangerous questions that open up opportunities for lying, exaggerating, complaining, and just plain bad energy. Most people automatically respond with, “I’m fine,” or “I’m doing well” when they know they aren’t. This is lying and that puts out negative energy into the universe that must be counteracted.
The next time someone asks you, “how are you?” or “how are you doing,” rather than lying, you could respond by saying, “some days are better than others” and you would always be telling the truth to them and yourself.
CALL TO ACTION: Start your Self-Examination
- If you have to ask how they are doing you aren’t listening, so start listening.
- Stop asking people how they are doing because that’s intrusive – bad for your energy and theirs.
- Even when someone is doing well, they may not always feel well, so which one do you want them to answer? … just don’t ask.
HOW IT WORKS: Did you ever think that asking someone “how they are doing” was such a bad idea? After hearing this insight from the Spirit Guides it makes sense, especially in these challenging times. Most people aren’t doing well, and it really puts them on the spot when anyone asks them the dreaded question that most people mindlessly ask. It’s important to be extra sensitive and not put people on the spot.
You can assume that most people are struggling and not doing well. Don’t ask them that dreaded question and make them lie causing bad energy for you and them. ~ Linda Deir
RELATED ARTICLES:
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I see you, but don’t ask me how I’m doing – Harvard Health Publishing
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How do I politely ask my friend to stop constantly asking “how are you”? – Quora
This is a fascinating topic. As usual, I have read and resonated with the entire insight and have also had the experience of energetically awkward greetings with many people in my life.
While I understand and agree that asking someone “how they are doing” before sensing into the situation can create an energetic imbalance, I am left wondering how to avoid that same imbalance in another type of situation.
Sometimes in life, there are people that we are required to connect with that we are NOT authentically happy to see or are even able to be truthful in saying anything like, “it’s nice to see you”.
In fact, dealing with them at all is everything but pleasant, and can even elicit deep dread at the thought of having to connect with them at all.
Whether it’s a cantankerous person on your team at work, or an abusive client, or a cruel family member who is constantly setting you up and using any genuine personal communication you supply as intel to plot against you, you must greet them and deal with them nevertheless.
In my experience, saying “how are you?” to these types of people has helped take the focus off of me as they go on to talk endlessly about themselves. At the same time, I attempt to avoid offering up as little about myself as possible and try to stick directly to the business at hand or introduce innocuous topics to pass the time until I can be released from the interaction.
While I do have a high level of compassion and empathy for the fact that these types of people are not well, it does not change the fact that my intuition is signaling me to protect myself from the harm that their sickness can cause me.
So, here is my question for the guides:
When approaching an unavoidable interaction with a toxic individual:
How can we greet and deal with them authentically and still avoid creating an energetic imbalance when our true feelings are inappropriate to communicate or could be damaging to one or both parties in the long run?
Thank you so much.
Here’s the answer from the Guides …
“Your conundrum is that you are attempting to balance living your truth, while in environments that are sterile of that. First rule; do not take any of this personally, keep your feelings out of it and become an observer, not a fake. This is how you will continue to honor who you really are, no matter what. So, if you encounter a toxic situation or person for any reason, you must question why you encountered them, or work with them. Was it random? … a planned meeting? … a phone call you hesitated to make? You must breathe and clear out your emotions about the person “personally” and only engage on the level necessary to conduct business. This conscious choice is how you will maintain your connection to us making all this easy to do.” ~ Spirit Guides
I work in the medical field and unfortunately ask this all the time. What could/should I ask my patients so they inform me of how they are doing?
Here’s what the Guides said, “In the medical field it’s a natural response to ask patients how they are doing. However, this opens you up to them not remembering what they told you that last time – repeating much of what you already know. A better question who be, “what’s changed since the last time you were here?” ~ Spirit Guides
Here’s what I have to say, “this is the perfect opportunity to practice using your intuition. Before you even enter the room where the patient is … take a moment to calm down to sense the energy of the room and the person. The patient will sense your calm energy which will make them feel more at ease, so they answer you with honesty.” ~ Linda
I have thought about this frequently. I’ve not been well and I’ve started to become more open about it. When someone asks me how I’m doing, I say, “I’m hanging in.” For years I also have found it uncomfortable to ask others how they were doing when I knew I may not like their answer (or they would just lie, the way I used to). But I didn’t know what else to say. I like the new stock greeting, “It’s nice to see you.” In most cases, I feel that it will be a true statement, and it will be enough.
There are so many ridiculous things people have been socially groomed to say and do that defies any real connection to each other. This insight along with your truthful real-life experience brings this to the surface. Thank you for sharing, so others know they are not alone in their experiences, whatever those may be. This is how real connections are made. Thank you, and I hope this exchange of the truth is stronger than the pain.