I will take you back to the time in your young life when you became rebellious, reacting to living in one world. We never told you what to do, or not to do. You learned by exploring what we showed you. When you pushed us away, you instantly felt a void. Ever since then, you have been searching for that unconditional love, acceptance, and joy that you effortlessly experienced with us. So let’s get started…
It wasn’t so long ago that you made the decision to push us away. This placed you squarely into this world without any other options. This world was now all you had. Since nobody noticed what you gave up you couldn’t even talk about it, but you did feel the void.
Your reaction to being forced to live in just this world is what made you less tolerant when being told what to do and how to think.
You realized that no one really cared about what you thought or wondered about. The pressure was building from everyone, pushing you to perform and get it right here in this world. Although you felt an immediate resistance to all this pressure, you were mostly mad at yourself for letting them push you around. You knew something wasn’t right with this forced learning style, but you were already in too deep to even save yourself from being consumed by the status quo.
Your only defense was to rebel. But you weren’t sure what you were rebelling against?
The fact that you detected this was the first clue that you had some basis for comparison that brought this to light. You may have pushed us away, but you didn’t forget the higher learning you experienced from exploring what we showed you. You were self-taught.
Now you were being forced to learn and being judged based on how you measured up with everyone else. This left you feeling disconnected and alone. Again, no one cared about any of these realizations you were having, which made you even more rebellious.
Being rebellious as described in the dictionary; is the action or process of resisting authority, control, or convention. “An act of teenage rebellion.” Defiance, disobedience, rebelliousness, insubordination, subversion, resistance, “an act of rebellion.”
With all the pressure building up in you to follow the rules or else, you became observant. You were assessing how you would go about navigating your way through this system of conformity. How well would you be able, or willing to, be molded into a student who would follow the rules without question, so you could get good grades and fit in? How would you do this and keep yourself in one piece? It felt like a sell-out.
This was a test that would reveal how well you knew yourself, or not. Would you be true to yourself while making your way through this maze? Being rebellious was a place to pause, just long enough, to assess the situation before you made yet another critical life decision. A decision that would determine your fate going forward.
Ill-equipped as you were to make these early life-destiny decisions, you were forced to make a decision to go one way or the other.
If you chose to follow your truth you became more observant. If you followed others we watched you get lost. ~Linda Deir
My Guided Journey, the companion journal to Guided, Part Two, Chapter 10.